p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
