I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
