Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We smell like vodka and hangover
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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