bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
