Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
