omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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