Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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