I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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