were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
