You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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