Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize