I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
