No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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