if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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