problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
