I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize