I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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