Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
nutella sex= disaster
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
