bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
In other news, I just burned my penis
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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