Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
