If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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