she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
