I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love black thongs
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
