actually, I'm a sock model
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
