these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
