So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
