Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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