so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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