mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
