So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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