I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This is the high leading the old right now
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
