Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So squirting runs in the family.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.