some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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