On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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