Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better

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  (618): If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is... (301): Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better http://tfl.nu/emnn
  Replies (14) Good night (3954) Bad night (912)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

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  (907): I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are. http://tfl.nu/tm8o
  Replies (36) Good night (3687) Bad night (1002)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers

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  (203): Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers http://tfl.nu/86dj
  Replies (11) Good night (801) Bad night (4209)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies

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  (208): I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies http://tfl.nu/u66b
  Replies (25) Good night (8039) Bad night (676)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day

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  (254): our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day http://tfl.nu/vjaj
  Replies (25) Good night (1710) Bad night (5624)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.

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  (425): I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me. http://tfl.nu/cm8t
  Replies (19) Good night (3814) Bad night (1013)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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  (902): I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park http://tfl.nu/d8es
  Replies (7) Good night (2933) Bad night (1040)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.

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  (321): No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/z7lt
  Replies (4) Good night (982) Bad night (2087)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.

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  (312): I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other. http://tfl.nu/w5qg
  Replies (20) Good night (1870) Bad night (789)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...

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  (440): Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits... http://tfl.nu/u2u5
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (849)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"

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  (303): I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis" http://tfl.nu/qqqf
  Replies (6) Good night (1533) Bad night (592)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ... That's a shower caddy.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.

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  (541): You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever! (503): ... That's a shower caddy. (541): I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation. http://tfl.nu/svbx
  Replies (11) Good night (3380) Bad night (723)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.

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  (214): I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS. http://tfl.nu/qjb8
  Replies (3) Good night (1165) Bad night (555)
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  (619): View more from California

  i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME

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  (619): i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME http://tfl.nu/1892
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (285)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.

  (207): View more from Maine

  What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?

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  (207): No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before. (207): What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now? http://tfl.nu/z0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (219)

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