even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
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So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017