no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
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Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room