Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal

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  (858): I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal http://tfl.nu/7yck
  Replies (8) Good night (1995) Bad night (587)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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  (678): My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family? http://tfl.nu/vek9
  Replies (72) Good night (1875) Bad night (7916)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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  (908): There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life. http://tfl.nu/ab1p
  Replies (87) Good night (7658) Bad night (1490)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.

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  (203): I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/3knu
  Replies (12) Good night (1248) Bad night (3983)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party

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  (337): The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party http://tfl.nu/w848
  Replies (17) Good night (4914) Bad night (1591)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Two words Indian burn...

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  What did she think it was, a shake weight?

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  (806): Two words Indian burn... (1-806): What did she think it was, a shake weight? http://tfl.nu/39re
  Replies (27) Good night (1125) Bad night (5767)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".

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  (412): He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up". http://tfl.nu/5shs
  Replies (39) Good night (11254) Bad night (1799)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.

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  (919): Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick. http://tfl.nu/djhd
  Replies (23) Good night (7269) Bad night (949)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.

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  (215): The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law. http://tfl.nu/o7ax
  Replies (7) Good night (3581) Bad night (1078)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.

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  (608): He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles. http://tfl.nu/pu4v
  Replies (20) Good night (3586) Bad night (1090)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.

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  (203): You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet. http://tfl.nu/4f2y
  Replies (4) Good night (4177) Bad night (880)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick

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  (514): Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick http://tfl.nu/2v5j
  Replies (15) Good night (906) Bad night (1373)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !

  (779): View more from Illinois

  You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.

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  (815): Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him ! (779): You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right. http://tfl.nu/e8wh
  Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (685)
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  (916): View more from California

  I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...

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  (916): I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed... http://tfl.nu/imcz
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (180)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time

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  (226): No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time http://tfl.nu/rgly
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (333)

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