Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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