my mouth tastes like poor choices
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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