can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
