I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i think im in europe. pls send help
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
