Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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