Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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