I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
