he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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