A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
