I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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