my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
