omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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