I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize