Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize