We need to start having sex underwater more often.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I know her cup size but not her name....
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