The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
