HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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