I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
