they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
