I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
