This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i've created a new STD.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
