I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
sarcasm needs its own font
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
