week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
