I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
