He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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