What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize