After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I love you. Go after that dick
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
