thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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