Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize